I’m not sure when it happened but all I know now, is I’m very resentful. I’ve tried to live a pretty low drama and peaceful way of life. So when I see mean people being successful I think “why them”. I know, I know I’m not supposed to be that way. How do you stop? So, all I can say is that I’m working on it. I’ve always expected that my tragedies would have a cap, I’m still waiting. My life by no means has been awful. I’ve been able to feel the sand under my feet and listen to waves of the vast ocean. I’ve been on vacation with 6,000 other people on a big boat headed to some of the prettiest places. I’ve ziplined in Honduras and seen the dolphins dance in the gulf. So you would think that after experiencing some pretty great journeys in life I would be more appreciative. To be clear, I’m extremely grateful. God has been good to me. But I still struggle. But when you have the lost like I have and try to make sense of everything, I’m resentful. I guess there isn’t a realistic comparison to others, ( Sonder Effects ) so I need to stop being judgmental of myself and others. Since, I will never truly know what others fully go through, I need to just concentrate on what makes my life full. It really would be easier if life’s curveballs weren’t coming from multiple directions. So my struggle continues, as many others, but I pray all of this will make sense one day. I pray for strength, patience and openness for all of us.

Love, pretty resentful.